Reading Untamed Changed How I See and Live My Life. Now it’s Your Turn.
Untamed by Glennon Doyle was one of the top selling books of 2020 and so the last time I was at Barnes and Noble I decided to buy it. It had been recommended to me by multiple people and when Emma Watson posted about it on her Instagram I knew it was a must read. I didn’t know what to expect from the book. I had heard from people that it was a memoir of sorts that spoke about the female experience in the United States among other topics. I was interested to see what it was all about, and while some of the book was what I expected I was surprised by how much more there was to it. I’ve never been a huge fan of self-help books, so I was skeptical but I came away from this book with a different perspective of the life I am leading.
Glennon takes you through her life after divorcing her husband and marrying a woman, Abby Wambach. You meet her children and she tells you about how she was able to get through the questions and uncertainty her life has thrown at her. Throughout the story she tackles ideas such as mental health, sexuality, addiction, racism, faith, parenting, and misogyny in a way I had never seen expressed before. The book is full of metaphors that take hugely broad topics and makes them easy to understand. Whether you consider yourself an activist and feel you have a deep understanding of systemic issues we face in our country or haven’t had the opportunity to learn as much as you’d like, you’ll gain something from this book.
While the book is talking about all the experiences Glennon has had and what she learned from them it doesn’t feel like she is trying to tell you what is right from what is wrong. You are reminded throughout that many of the topics Glennon covers she spent a lot of her life ignorant on. She reminds you that she is far from perfect and that’s what makes this book so pure.
I read Untamed the whole way through, reading the chapters how they were placed in the book originally, but that is not necessary. You can pick up the book and as long as you have the basic context that you get from the first chapter and then you can jump around. Knowing this ahead of time is beneficial. I felt at points that the story got slow when I couldn’t relate quite yet, such as her stories of parenting. While those chapters were interesting to read, as a seventeen year old who won’t have kids on her radar for many years, I lost interest a little bit.
I think everyone should read this book, even if it’s just parts, at least once. Glennon is pushing you to reevaluate how you live your life. Are you living for yourself or are you living in the way you think you’re supposed to because everyone else told you it would make you happy? Glennon wants every reader to leave her book Untamed.
Dani’s Must Read Chapters from Untamed
As I said above this book can be read in chunks. If you don’t feel down to read the whole book, just want a good starting place, or a guide to jump around, this is for you. Below I will list my top 10 must read chapters (getting it down to 10 was definitely a challenge), a basic phrase on what the chapter covers, and my favorite line that will hopefully make you even more inclined to buy a copy if my article above wasn’t enough. Enjoy!
Chapter: The Prologue aka “Cheetah”
Topic: This gives you the basic thinking that Glennon has throughout the book of what it means to be Untamed.
Line: “Then she’d look back at the cage, the only home she’s ever known. She’d look at the smiling zookeepers, the bored spectators, and her panting, bouncing, begging best friend, aka the Lab. She’d sigh and say. ‘I should be grateful. I have a good enough life here. It’s crazy to long for what doesn’t even exist.’ I’d say: Tabitha. You are not crazy. You are a goddamn cheetah”
Chapter: “Boys”
Topic: Toxic Masculinity
Line: “Boys who learn that pain is weakness will die before they ask for help” page 164.
If you liked this chapter also see “Directions”
Line: “Here we all are. Our sons and daughters are still being shamed out of their full humanity before they even get dressed in the morning.” Page 12.
Chapter: “Racists”
Topic: Systematic and internalized racism
Line: “But I’d forgotten that sick systems are made up of sick people. People like me. In order to get healthy, everybody has to stay in the room and turn themselves inside out.” page 206.
Chapter: “Questions”
Topic: Sexuality
Line: “So folks poured their wide, juicy selves into the narrow, arbitrary glasses because that was what was expected. Many lived lives of quiet desperation, slowly suffocating as they held their breath to fit inside.” Page 223.
Chapter: “Rules”
Topic: The unspoken rules women feel they need to live by.
Line: “Why did I stay and suffer? The door wasn’t even locked” Page 26
Also see “Gatherings”
Line: “We forgot how to know when we learned how to please. This is why we live hungry.” Page 24.
Chapter: “Know”
Topic: How do you stay true to yourself when all these opposing forces are working against you?
Line: “Be still and know” page 55.
Chapter: “Ghosts”
Topic: There is no such things as the “perfect person”
Line: “Being human is not hard because you’re doing it wrong, it’s hard because you’re doing it right. You will never change the fact that being human is hard, so must change the fact that it was ever supposed to be easy.” Page 93.
Also see “Let it burn”
Line: “What we need right now is more women who have detoxed themselves so completely from the world’s expectations that they are full of nothing but themselves.” Page 75.
Chapter: “Aches”
Topic: How we cope in unhealthy ways and eating disorders.
Line: “Well, maybe I’m trying to be fine. Maybe all I do is try to be fine. Maybe I try harder than anybody.” Page 82.
Chapter: “Memos”
Topic: Parenting
Line: “Here is your baby. Love her at home, at the polls, in the streets. Let everything happen to her. Be near.” Page 155.
Chapter: “Poems”
Topic: Social media and phone usage
Line: “In his phone, Chase had found a place easier to exist than inside his own skin.” Page 157.