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The Foreword

The Student News Site of Allderdice High School

The Foreword

District Rebudgets Yondr Pouch Money

District+Rebudgets+Yondr+Pouch+Money

$27,000. The amount of money Pittsburgh Public Schools was planning to spend on Yondr pouches annually. Now that the plan has fallen through, the district now has this sum to spend however they may see fit. Here are some of the leaked, potential budget plans that The Backword has uncovered from inside sources close to the budgeting team:

 

  • 60 Playstation Fives
  • 5143 Sides of Queso at Chipotle
  • 15 fourteen inch Macbook Pros
  • 119 Italian Jet Ski Rentals
  • Uber from New York to Mount Rushmore and back (twice)
  • 2023 Ford Maverick with 14,907 miles for Mr. Carry’s 6-minute commute
  • US Military Funds for 1.01 Seconds
  • 24324 Microwavable Mac and Cheese for Mr. Do-Re-Lee’s closet
  • 36,000 Rice Krispies from the Dice Cafeteria line
  • Some stuff from the DECA store (idk ask Mr. Cricketts)
  • Half of the student leader’s campaign funds
  • 3862 months of Netflix (with ads of course)
  • A chunk of land on a private island in Nova Scotia for Office Admin Tech classroom
  • A 0.0157 second Superbowl ad (Accepting submissions currently, please email [email protected])
  • 77 Sealy Posturepedic Spring Bloom 12” Twin Mattresses for Mrs. Priceless’ nap time
  • Mr. Flapjack’s Tottenham Hotspurs season ticket for the next 28 years
  • Genghis Khan training program in Mongolia 9 times
  • Bobsledding in Norway 30 times
  • Enter the NYC Marathon with 137 of your friends
  • 1 week of rent in 400 sqft NYC apartment
  • 2034 Shares of Gamestop (8:00 AM)
  • 8000 Shares of Gamestop (8:05 AM)
  • 12,000 Shares of Gamestop (8:11 AM)
  • 100,000 Shares of Gamestop (8:23 AM)
  • A letter signed by Thomas Jefferson during the War of 1812
  • 74 games of Señor Tailor’s Steelers season tickets (Section 504f)
  • 22 high-quality sets of backup dentures for Coach Zynn
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