Breaking News: People Care about Student Government

Everyone loves student government!

Everyone loves student government!

Over the past few months, it has come to the attention of the The Backword staff that student government has seemingly become something people care about. So, in our curiosity (and concern), we spoke to several students and teachers about this topic in an attempt to simply understand why.

Tenth grader and noted class skipper, seemingly trying to hide her neon pink, berry blast flavored vape, spoke with The Backword. She shrugged when we asked about her opinion of student government, saying, “I’m just trying to get a hit in, couldn’t care less about some student government BS.” She explained that she didn’t even vote during the election: “That is some nerd shit.”

The former student government teacher, a passionate professional who dedicated his life to the education of students, was unfortunately unavailable for comment. According to one of his faculty assistants though, he was quoted saying that the student government is “doing too much.” 

Finally, we spoke to the current Student government President. He is notable for being the first President to ever have both a staff and a functioning school legislature (according to him, at least). In a statement made to The Backword, Mr. President extolled the great achievements of his administration. “Students ought to care about student government. It is the backbone of Taylor Allderdice’s democratic system. It is how students can make their voices heard.” 

When we inquired about the closed bathrooms, he shouted, “Fake News!”*

 

*Subsequently, the interview came to a close.

 

All in all, opinions on student government are like neon pink vapes—everyone has one!