Hey, Dirty Dicers. Dice Dragon here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of the underclassmen idiots. 

Spotted: It Boy and It Girl hooking up after the varsity boys basketball game. Under the bright moonlight in the back of the dog park, they were seen barking up a storm. And how do I know? Well, the very reliable sophomore #312 saw it with her very own eyes. Thanks for the update, girl. 

But was it not only yesterday that Blondie #7 (“B”) confessed her undying love for It Boy? To add insult to injury, It Girl and B have been best friends since preschool. They summer at Emma Kaufmann Camp. They skip school at Starbucks. They spend their winter weekends skiing at Seven Springs. They spend their evenings dining at Dunkin Donuts. Is this really how you treat your sister from another mister, It Girl? 

Everyone knows the dynamic duo and everyone is talking. Wonder what It Girl was thinking… We always knew that It Girl had a thing for It Boy but who would have thought that she would betray her best friend like that?

Now, B wants revenge: and so begins part two of our (not so) fairy tale…

Spotted: B confronting It Boy at the pool. While soaking up the sun in her bikini, she told him that It Girl is hooking up with It Boy #4 in the third floor Allderdice bathroom. Is B lying to win back It Boy or just to piss off It Girl? Either way, It Boy believes it—and he’s mad. Outside her locker, right before homeroom, freshman #157 saw him yelling at her. Tears were streaming down It Girl’s face for the loss of her Prince Charming. 

Never cross B. It is all going as planned for her: With It Boy broken-hearted, B is finally getting her wish: a relationship with It Boy. Word on the street is they were canoodling on the Second Floor. 

But don’t fret single ladies of Allderdice. Considering his track record, he will be back on the market in no time.

So, until next time… 

XOXO,

Dice Dragon